^That song has been stuck in my head among some others for the past year and a half. Okay not really, just for like two days. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwbLpzQACDg
Alrighty! I figured out how to post links. I'm sooo technologically advanced!
Seriously though, this song just makes we want to get up and dance..... and get drunk, get high, get sly and get fly and whatever else he says!
Heh heh, okay maybe not, the only drugs I've taken recently have been nitrous oxide (laughing gas) and T3s.
Which brings me to what I wanted to blog about, the story of my wisdom teeth getting pulled! Such a wack experience.
So step one, don't be nervous at all. I told people I didn't want to get my teeth pulled, because, honestly, who has actually been excited for future mouth pain? Nobody, but I wasn't freaking out about getting them pulled or anything. I knew I was going to survive and I trust my dentist because I've basically been going to him since before I knew how to do a somersault.
Step two, eat a superspecialawesome delicious breakfast made by your mommy!!!!! Mmm mmm mmm, fried eggs, blueberry muffins with jam in the middle, and BACON! If you're getting your teeth pulled, make sure the last meal you will be able to chew for a while is one of your favorites and fills you up.
Step three, create an amazing playlist on your Ipod that you can jam to so you have something to drown out the noise of the drill/saw thing they use on your teeth.
Step four, make sure that you don't know where your headphones are.
Step five, jack the headphones that your friend left about a month ago. Secretly thank her for always leaving her shit behind. (love you :) )
Step six, convince your mom that she doesn't need to sit in the room with you.
Step seven, my favorite step, inhale nitrous oxide and get higher than a kite. Start to feel nice and warm and tingly.
Step eight, what is so damn funny? Pray that the dentist doesn't catch you laughing.
Step nine, close your eyes and just chill out to your tunes. Open your eyes to check that you're not as sideways as you feel. Giggle at the thought.
Step ten, revel at how much you just LOVE the song that is playing right now. Why don't you listen to it more often? You just can't get over how good these songs are and how majestic the melodies are that are being played into your ear.
Step eleven, yup, your high. Giggle a bit more.
Step twelve, when the dentist asks you how you're feeling, try your best to not sound stupid. After they put some numbing cloth things in your mouth, start to really feel weird. Not only is the rest of your body tingly numb, but now you can't even feel your mouth.
Step thirteen, mentally prepare yourself to be looking like a drooling chipmunk after this is all over.
Step fourteen, thank the dentist assistant for rubbing your arm while the dentist sticks those needles all over your mouth. When that's over, make sure to laugh really hard at something the dentist assistant says so that she will laugh back at you.
Step I'm-done-taking-steps, wait what feels like another half hour for the numbing from the needles to take their toll.
By this point, both of your lips should feel as thick and heavy as a pound of peanut butter. Go ahead and have fun smacking your lips together because it feels funny, just make sure nobody catches you.
When the dentists come back into the room to get started on the teeth pulling, ask how long the numbing will last. Three hours? Okay excellent!
Start to feel really sleepy... you probably could have fallen asleep except that you had to keep your mouth wide open.
Before you know it they are done pulling out two teeth on one side of your mouth. Laugh because that was so quick and painless! Stop laughing immediately when you taste the medication sliding down the back of your tongue, and also try not to throw up from that disgusting taste. Thank god for the water and suction thingy!
Moving on to the other side of your mouth, all is fine until they start going at your last tooth.
Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this?!?!?! Is this supposed to happen?" Raise your hand to let them know, but realize there's no point. You couldn't say anything even if you tried. Suck it up and let him finish pulling out your tooth. It wasn't THAT bad, but you're the happiest camper when its over.
Feel 50 times better when the dentist assistant lady wipes your face with a cloth. Bring up a thought up image of how you must have looked liked; drool running down your neck, and a bloody mouth. Mentally apologize to the dentists, even though they've probably seen a lot worse.
Get upset when the dentist assistant tells you that you are now inhaling pure oxygen to flush the nitrous oxide from your system. Wish you had some N20 to take home.
Ouch! Yes now you are really starting to feel your mouth hurt.
You walk out to see your mom with your mouth completely numb, cheeks puffed out, and gauze in your mouth. You're not even close to being a hot mess, you are just a mess.
Everyone tells you how good you did and how tough you are and how awesome you are and you secretly feel really good about yourself :).
But your mouth is sooo sore and you can't really talk because it hurts and your eyes start tearing up but your still smiling because you can kind of see the humour in the situation.
"Medication." is the only thing you say to your mom when you step into the car.
When you get home and you bend over to take your shoes off, don't forget to drool all over the carpet. It's okay though because you can't feel your face anyway.
Take out the bloodiest gauze so you can swallow your pills. You try really hard to get them down but you kind of want to throw up because all you can taste is blood. You think about how Bella drank blood in the Twilight series for her baby and how she enjoyed it as if it would encourage you to swallow the pills but you can only think how much bullshit that is. Blood is gross. Breaking Dawn was a lie the whole time.
After you put new gauze back in your mouth lay down in your Dad's recliner. Don't say any words because it hurts. Just grunt, use hand motions and try to blink in Morse code to get your thoughts across to your family.
Don't eat- correction, don't drink- anything else for the rest of the night except for water to take your pills and get the taste of blood out of your mouth. Yummyness.
Realize you forgot to take your bc pill when you go to bed but say, "Screw that," because you just expertly put in fresh gauze. You'll just take two the next morning. Or the whole month's worth, your choice :P.
When you wake up the next morning feel GREAT! You didn't ooze any blood on to your pillow, and your hardly sore! Take a T3 again just in case.
Take out your gauze- no more bleeding! Make a smoothie and feel as excellent as you can. Even laugh at your chubby cheeks. Waste the rest of the day making a way too long blog post about the whole thing!
"Yeah, you're real pretty pretty, you're pretty strung out for a girl."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZEIDvL0qcA
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