"I Ain't Settling For Anything Less Than Everything"

Hello!
So.
I was just talking to my friend, and I brought up how I wanted to get out of this town so bad. This is because I feel very limited, in many aspects.
Number one, the boy situation, obviously. Now, I am very used to being single, I've only not been single for six months out of my whole life. So I'm not the type to need a boy to make me feel happy. Let's face it, this is a small town and everybody knows everybody here! There really isn't much selection. I've either grown up with them my whole life, or I know somebody who has dated them, or my parents know their parents, or something awkward like that.
And say none of that matters, say I end up kind of liking somebody. I don't want to settle for someone just because they are the only one I like out of the boys that I have to choose from.
I need to get out of this town and go somewhere bigger. I need to get out and meet people and run into somebody I go crazy for. I don't want to go for just any guy, when there could be somebody way better for me somewhere else. Do you know what I'm trying to get at?

I need "wide open spaces, room to make her big mistakes. She needs new faces, she knows the high stakes."

Number two, do you ever just feel like you have so much potential for this world. So full of ambition to do something wonderful- for yourself, for other people, and for the planet. But for crying out loud, you just don't know for what! You know that you have so many options, so many different paths you can go down, so much room for mistakes, so much time to make changes, and it's really quite overwhelming. I feel that if I stay in this town for too much longer that I will lose it. I am craving to get out and experience other things, to tear down the fences.
I also fear that if I stay here for too long that I will lose the ambition and the feeling like I am meant for more than this.


Don't get me wrong, I love this small town. I was born and raised here, and I love the small town feel. I really do like the fact that I can go to Safeway and run into people I know every single time. You never feel like your are alone in the middle of a huge crowd like you may feel in the city.

Well, bedtime. I know good things will come to me. It's all a matter of patience.

"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

Soaking Up Your Words Like It's My Last Breath of Air

Wake up call after wake up call after wake up call after wake up call. When will I get it?!

My kitty is sooooooo adorable. Fuck, I just love him. ooooooooooooooooooooh teh littel kitteh, he is sooo keeewt I just want to gobble him up :)

I absolutely love when it snows :) Yet it also fills me with a bit of melancholy.

I think for once, I finally found the perfect fitting word. Melancholy is exactly right!
I think it is because every time I see the snow falling from the sky so gently, it's so beautiful, and I feel like I should go out and enjoy it by going for a walk with someone and holding their hand. Buuuuut I never do!

Soaking up your words like it's my last breath of air.
That is what I'm doing, and all that is left for now.

"My mind forgot to remind me that you're a bad idea."

I just want to go to so many places. The only reason I want to work right now is so that I can have enough money to travel.
But, if I am going to work I may as well have a good paying job that I actually enjoy doing. I'd want to be able to help people. Might as well save the world a little bit by trying to make a difference in someone's life.

When you think about it, when you do good deeds, you may think that you're doing it for someone else, or sacrifising something of yourself, but really you are doing it for yourself. Because you feel good about yourself after. So, it's actually kind of selfish... in a way? Wierd. But it is the best kind of selfish the world can offer!

Blog Your Heart Out, Girl!

Hello,
So. I... have a whole lot of thoughts and feelings that need to be sorted out! Yes, excellent! I have a lot I need to get off of my chest. That happens every once in a while.

"It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn"

"No dawn no day I'm always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart"


This blog post is a shout out to one of my closest and best friends, Linette! Linette Lubke everyone!
She is the apple of my eye, and when I get married, this girl gets dibs for bridesmaid!
Seriously, this little lady is just amazing. She's absolutely beautiful, intelligent, witty, hilarious, and athletically adept- she is the whole package anybody could want in any friend! She is 5 gold stars!
Do you ever meet some people who you just click with? Conversations never run dry or get boring. In fact, it's quite the opposite! Just say one word to get the ball rolling and then your just cooking with gas! I'm pretty sure we could talk for a week straight and not run out of things to say. It's excellent! If you ever find a friend like this, make sure you never let go of them. Make sure you always keep in touch. Make sure you are always there for them, because they will always be there for you. Always listen to each other because that's what good friends like these do, and they want to listen to minute of it.

So. Only because of a recent conversation, let's talk about.... soul mates. :)
You never know what life is going to throw at you. You may think you are head over heels for one person and then later on you are even more head over heels for somebody else! How do you know if the person you are with is the one for life? That is suuuuuuuuuuuuch a looooooooong tiiiiiiiiiiiiime! If you are going to play by the rules of marriage, that means that when you marry someone... you are stuck with them... for the REST. OF. YOUR. LIFE.
Life is a long time. You can't experience anything longer than your own life, so if you're going to marry somebody they better be worth it!
Wow. That's actually scary to think about.
But.
I'm sure it wouldn't be scary if you thought you found your soul mate. Now. That is an interesting thought.
First of all, is it even possible to have or find a soul mate? Secondly... if you did find a soul mate, could that person have a different soul mate that wasn't you?
These are thoughts you think when it is two thirty in the morning and you may have had a couple drinks earlier on in the night.
I really honestly do not have any specific point I'm going with this. I'm just musing :)


"No more dreaming like a girl so in love so in love, no more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong one"
^ Hey, true dat, Flo. True. dat.

"I'll Just Think About You 'Till There's Nothing In My Head"

Hello!

Today was the one day of the year where everyone makes the biggest deal out of nothing. They are truly making a mountain out of a molehill.
Valentines Day.
Honestly, I don't have a single problem with it. We have a mutual respect for each other. If by any chance I'm with someone at the time, we'll probably buy each other a gift. If I'm not, which, let's be honest, is generally 100% of the time, then I'll go buy some discounted chocolates! It's win-win!
So, there's really no complaining coming from me, and I don't understand why people turn it into such a huge matter. All of the "forever alone" quotes and "#singlegirlproblems" are funny for only so long. They get annoying after awhile, but I'll admit I made a few comments myself. How can you not! Although some people, they just take it one notch too far, a step over board, and cross a few too many lines.
Another thing, is how some people argue that you shouldn't give gifts to loved ones on one day of year just because you're obliged to. Well... yes and no. Yes, Valentines Day is purely a day for businesses to make a profit, and it is a little bit overrated. On the other hand... would you like to be the only girlfriend or boyfriend in the world who didn't get a gift from their lover? Hmmm...
I just think it is a nice gesture to give a gift. Of course, I think it is even sweeter to do nice things on just a regular normal day, no holidays.
Then my Youtube mentor Jenna Marbles steps in and gives viewers her two cents on gift giving.
"Here's the reality check for you. These are the gift giving holidays: your birthday and Christmas/Hanuka etc... if someone gives you flowers on Valentines Day that's super nice." Then, she goes on to explain her first "slave job" at a beauty salon."For me to spend that money on someone else knowing how many toe nails I had to clean up in order to earn it. Spending your money on other people is a really nice gesture."
She's super right! Money is hard to come by in this world, so nobody should expect anything on silly little holidays like this.
Here's the link for that video, I encourage everyone to watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ7wT4CUprQ&feature=plcp&context=C3083291UDOEgsToPDskLix0Pb7mDbq9evG-P93LLY
Anyway, how did Valentines Day get to be celebrated like this? After all, it is just the day that Saint Valentine got executed. Isn't that a little wack?

Wow, so what I really wanted to blog about this time was just a little... just a little bit of cute thinking I was doing the other night. It was actually kind of funny, because I was typing it out on my cellphone so I would remember what to say for my blog. Instead of saving what I wrote into my drafts, I accidentally sent it to my friend (of the boy variety)! yiiiiiiiiiikes, that was embarrassing.
So now that I got carried away with my thoughts on Valentines Day, this is what I intended to say for today.

One of my favorite things about being in a relationship? Being able to stare into their sweet eyes, and being able to lock hands (The non sweaty kind).
There's something about eyes and hands that are just so... I dunno the word, sacred? That might be a bit of a stretch. None the less, if someone touches my hand, I flip out. I don't even like holding someone's hand unless I'm with the person. When you look at someone in their eyes it's like you're staring at their soul and you're really seeing them. Especially when they are looking directly back at you. It's hard for me to look into someones eyes or hold their hand without truly being comfortable with the person.

Do you get what I'm saying? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Are you digging what I buried?

Aaaanyway.
That's all I really wanted to say.


 "And my lips are raw as hell; I'm biting on them just to stay awake. It's not like I'm gonna need them. You won't be around to see them bleed and break."

This Is Just Bloopity Blip Blap

Hello,

I would like to start out by saying that, "Life will be life and it tends to rumple the blankets every now and then."

"Where did you find such a clever quotation?" you might ask, and I would have to tell you I found it in my head.
Heh heh ;)
On a different note, my ears finally popped from the plane ride. Eight hours later is better than never I guess.

While sitting on Air Canada today I was feeling kind of creative, or at least just in the mood to write. Throughout the whole day today I was typing out thoughts of all sorts of variety. It seems now that I am trying to write a post that the magical writing drive is slipping away. I just love when I can start writing something and it flows so smooth. I don't need to second guess if I used the right word, everything makes sense, and most importantly, I feel good about what I've written.
Oh, and it is such a terrible feeling when you are stuck, or when you want to say something so badly but the words don't come to you. They are just lagging behind time, floating out in the middle of Timbuck Two, and you get stuck.
So to sum that up: This morning= words were flowing, right now= words are stuck in mud. Boo.
I find myself constantly searching for the right word to use.
For example, in my newly found metaphor, the whole thing just dripped from my pen on to paper- that was how easy it flowed. The only thing about that, was that I spent the rest of the evening wondering if there was a better word to use instead of "rumple."

Okay I am sorry, this is an unfinished post, but I am posting it anyway just so my dedicated friend will have a little something to read tomorrow ;)
All is well that ends well.
Phew I have no clue why I said that. That doesn't have anything to do with what I was saying.
Okay tomorrow I will finish my thoughts on writing and thinking and words and partying and bullshit.

"All if the kitty cats get out their catty kits; sit and talk shit' bout this bitch and that bitch... they just wanna be heard and act like they're better than everyone else and not to feel lower."